1. She was in the bathroom,
putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young
granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her
lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you
forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put
lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper
good-bye...2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me
Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.
My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start
at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to
wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and more
rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel
around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed
with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the
three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was
telling her little granddaughter what her
own childhood was like:
"We used to skate outside
on a pond
I had a swing made from a
tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
We rode our pony. We picked
wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this all in.
At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting
one day when he asked,
"Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?"
I mentally
polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we
alike?''
"You're both old," he
replied.
6. A little girl was
diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
writing a story.
"What's it about?" he
asked.
"I don't know," she
replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my
granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so
I decided to test her.
I would point out
something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and
was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.
At
last, she headed for the door, saying,
"Grandma, I think you should try to figure
out some of these, yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy
and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from
attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies
followed us in..
Noticing them before I did,
Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa.
Now the mosquitoes are
coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked
me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear,
Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came
home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We
learned how to make babies today.
" The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her
cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?"
(
"It's simple," replied the
girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give
me a sentence about a public servant," said
a teacher. The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the
ladder pregnant."
The
teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
"Don't
you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy
confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12. A grandfather was
delivering his grandchildren to their home
one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started
discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep
crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's
just for good luck."
A third child brought the
argument to a close."They use
the dogs," she said firmly,
"to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked
where his grandma lived.
"Oh," he said, "she lives
at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when
we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest
man on earth! He teaches me good
good things, but I don't
get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are
funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their
dog.
SEND THIS TO
OTHER GRANDPARENTS, ALMOST
GRANDPARENTS, OR HECK, SEND IT TO EVERYONE.
IT WILL MAKE
THEIR DAY!